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(Electronic voice) Hello, reader. This website is a cringeworthy blog I started when I was 18, then abandoned until COVID-19 came along currently undergoing renovation. All pages will only be accessible through the directory below (or above, if the humour in my call-centre-recording act is already wearing off):

  • If you’re looking for the blog that no longer exists, click 1.
  • If you’re looking for a boring writer’s bio to read, click 2.
  • If you’re looking for a pat on the back just for visiting this website, click 3.
  • And finally, if you’re looking for a writer to support with money you can’t afford to waste, click 4.

Thank you for your time and patience. Please wait while we redirect you to the appropriate department page. (Cue call centre hold music)